What does Korean Language, means to me.

This post is closely related to my previous post
Applying for KGSP 2018 - 2nd round result!

I have been watching korean drama (kdrama) maybe since 2005 and 'My Girl' is my first kdrama ever (as far as I can remember) and next was Autumn In My Heart (AIMH), I still remember I borrowed my friend's CD to watch it at home and cry my heart out while everyone is sleeping XD After my 2nd kdrama I started to have an interest to sing my favorite song at that time which is an OST of AIMH titled Gido (Prayer) by Jung Il-Young. Enjoy the video below HAHA

So at that time I had a limited access to internet and not even know how to look for the lyrics and so, just by following how the singer pronounce it while listening to the song (I even recorded it in a cassette!), I created my own word as long as it sounds the same! Funny but true that's how I learnt my first korean words XD After I finish my high school in 2007 I started to study hangul properly by learning the characters and how to write them. I still keep those books though HAHA

The learning continues and I especially studied very hard while waiting for the announcement of the 2nd round result of KGSP-G 2018. When I got to know that I didnt passed, ironically I started to hate korean language and swear that I wont ever write in korean or to do anything related to korea it self. I stopped studying, put away all the books, I dont watch any dramas or variety shows, uninstall all the apps related to learning korean in my phone (which I had 2-3 apps) - conclusion is I throw everything away out of my life. I did. Totally broken hearted.

But,

One thing that I can't put away is, at the time I'm teaching English to a few of korean student and adult. I used to love seeing them but it gets tiring during the depression phase 미안해 내가 잘못했어 😅 whether I want it or not I still need to make money and they're becoming my friends so how can I put them aside. They're very nice people and I love how one of my student (an adult woman) tried to calm me down the day after the result is out (eventho I act strong but I guess she knew that I had high hopes so maybe thats why)

So I tried to get back up and since Ramadhan is coming soon at that time I need to prepare myself to be better. I can't stay the way I am at that time. Day by day things get better and till this day I watch kdrama as usual and I had some thoughts that its not useless to study korean language. Yet, its an advantage if I can speak other languages so why not!? Eventhough I dont actually study hard like I did before but it is more than enough that I know where Korean language stands in my heart. Gituh kau berkata-kata, laily! XD

I realised that I studied korean because I'm curious and because of the language itself, not because of KGSP only, so why would I stop learning it just because I failed to get the scholarship? Said me to myself HAHA

So thats it. That's how I came to a realization of how important korean language is to me. The 13 years time is not a joke.  Almost half of my life. So how can I stop learning it out of sudden, right?

Eventhough I took some time to actually realised that, I'm glad that I did because it never feels right when I decided to put korean language away so now I feel much better!
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Eventhough my korean is getting worst now xD